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What Planet is Your Family From? Uranus or Neptune?
by Nancy R. Fenn
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy
in its own way."
This is one of the most famous opening lines ever written. The
author is a man consumed by horror and fascination with families
and family life, a man who had 12 children and an intense
relationship with his much younger wife, and whose own parents
and older brother died when he was quite young.
The book is "Anna Karenina". The author is Leo Tolstoy.
Many of Tolstoy's novels concern families and family life
issues. In "The Kreutzer Sonata", a husband murders his wife in
a fit of jealous passion.
Tolstoy's family life was far from perfect and yet the
profundity of family life consumed him for a lifetime. He asked
to be buried near "the green stick", a legendary place his older
brother told him about when they were kids.
What about you? Does your Family Tree bear the fruits of pain or
perfection? What about the family you're creating or plan to
create? And your spouse's family?
Do your people fit the Normal Rockwell stereotype? The Partridge
Family? How about the Royal Tannenbaums? Were you raised by a
single parent? Relatives? Foster homes? "Where do I come from?"
is an important question at some time in our lives and
especially when we have Saturn in the 4th, 8th and 12th houses
of the chart.
For all of us, really knowing ourselves means knowing about the
families we come from. This is the great mystery of the bottom
of the chart, the IC, the Imum Coeli. Translated literally this
means the deepest most part of the Heavens. This is the 4th
house.
Erin Sullivan has written a very interesting seminal work on
family chart interpretation in her latest book, "The Astrology
of Family Dynamics." She thinks families come in two different
types: Uranian and Neptunian. Let's take a closer look at this.
So, what's it like to come from Uranus? Uranus is the planet
that rules individuality, freedom and the ability to stand alone
against insurmountable obstacles. There is a Promethean heroism
in the basic Uranian character. As you recall, Prometheus stole
fire from the gods and gave it to humans. For this willful act
of transgression, he was chained to a rock for all eternity.
Every day an eagle (the bird of Zeus, his tormenter) eats out
his liver. And every night it grows back. Many an Aquarian soul
will identify with the agony and the ecstasy of this myth.
Uranus is the ruler of Aquarians and astrologers. Sometimes the
truths we bring are not welcome though they are spectacularly
life sustaining.
Uranus is the planet that gives us the will to stand up and
break the chains that bind us. Uranus rules revolutions such as
the French Revolution and the American Revolution. When it's
time for a revolutionary change in the status quo, in rides
Aquarius on the hurricane winds of change. (Aquarius is an air
sign.)
The mythological Uranus, some might remember, ate his own
children because he thought they were ugly. Still he and Gaea
created the protogods of the Greek pantheon.
What on earth does this tell us about family dynamics? Well, the
reason Uranus thought his children were ugly is an important
consideration. It was because they didn't fit his ideal. The
Uranian personality can be consumed with a vision so pure that
it dreadfully devalues any tangible reality.
Families adopting the Uranian model will be comprised of strong
individuals who are encouraged to think for themselves as soon
and have opinions of their own as soon as they can talk. The
family is seldom at home because their family ideal is to
contribute to society. The members of these families are serving
on committees to preserve ethnic folk dances, getting elected to
school boards, organizing fund raisers to pay for a neighborhood
child's prosthesis or starting a group like MADD.
The children in Uranian homes are escorted to the door at 18 or
21 and out in to the world they go, never looking back. These
are not the kids who are expected to call home every Sunday
afternoon at 6 pm. For some readers this is sounding like a
horror story but for some, it should be oddly consoling and even
quite highly amusing. You are thinking, "At last, someone is
describing a family like mine."
The siblings in Uranian families, not to mention the parents,
often go for years without talking to one another. It is always
interesting to discover what brings them back into contact. (If
you know a family like this, be sure and ask.) Needless to say,
in these families, everyone is the black sheep!
The Uranian family has few traditions since they don't value
tradition. Family reunions are rare. Maybe they read about each
other in the newspaper!
Because every Uranian is at heart living in a future which
doesn't exist yet, images from science fictions books and films
come to mind. Stanley Kubrick is a quintessential Uranian type.
Here's a world view quote:
"The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is
hostile but that it is indifferent, but if we can come to terms
with the indifference, then our existence as a species can have
genuine meaning. However vast the darkness, we must supply our
own light."
- Stanley Kubrick
Many astrologers and metaphysicians, myself included, would
agree with Kubrick; however this description is sure to strike
terror in the hearts of Neptunians everywhere. Indifference?
Yikes!
Uranians meditate on pure energy and rarely see images but if
they do, it is likely to be very abstract (and "indifferent")
such as light spirals, galactic cosmos starry nights or extra
terrestrials. Neptunians on the other hand can conjure angels,
fairies, auras, the Divine Mother and her Suffering Son.
Medicine Men, Shamans, Isis … beings with faces and eyes that
connect and beckon kindly.
Which one is better? That's not a question to ask in a paradigm
like astrology that presents the world fundamentally in
polarities as do many of the world's great religions.
Uranians:Neptunians as yang:yin as air/fire:water/earth.
The Neptunian ideal is for perfect union, communion, the ecstasy
of never having to leave the mother's care or the father's
protection. The family ideal is for a seamless blending of
personalities into an organic whole which breaths and sighs as
one. (The Uranians are now horrified, thinking, "I can't
breath!")
The god Neptune ruled the ocean and it is an oceanic oneness
that Neptunians crave. They secretly desire an umbilical
attachment that transcends all rituals of coming of age. No
matter how old the children get in a Neptunian family, they are
expected to return home for holidays, take close care of aging
parents, observe all hallowed family traditions, raise their
children in time honored sacred ways and marry someone who is
willing to morph into and be absorbed by this entropic amorphous
constellation of pulsating sensors and feelers.
The rooms and hallways of the Neptunian family home ring with
the angel chorus, "We're so close." "We do everything together."
"I married my brother's best friend." "My mother and I write to
each other every day but we don't open them. That way when one
of us dies, we can always be in touch." Family members in
Neptunian homes make sacrifices for each other that could make a
saint blush. After all, to live your own life would be selfish.
Every once in awhile a Neptunian child gets into a Uranian
family in order to elevate their sense of feeling connection, or
a Uranian child gets into a Neptunian one to introduce fresh new
ingredients into the "soup" so to speak. These children arrive
when families have reached critical mass and help them make
leaps in evolution. Families evolve just like people do.
Neptunian family members touch, cuddle and snuggle all their
lives. Perhaps you have seen them, like the family that sat in
front of me at the Pavarotti concert who got up at the break and
went to the bathroom together like those crack-the-whip lines we
used to form on the ice skating rink. Some cultures are prone to
Neptunian dynamics. I suspect that Third World countries incline
that way because of interdependency needs that are accentuated
in conditions of limited resources. Hardly anyone can stand
alone in poverty. There are many coming of age movies today
where a second generation, being raised in the United States or
England, tries to come to terms with marrying outside the
Neptunian family's expectations and moving brazenly outside the
family circle. "Bend it Like Beckham" is an example of a film
with this theme.
Are you beginning to form an idea of which planet your family
comes from? Here are checklists to assist you.
RATE YOUR FAMILY
Checklist for Uranian families:
ON THE UPSIDE
•independence is valued
•ability to think for yourself
•contribute to the community
•stay busy outside the home
•egalitarian family structure (everyone is their own authority)
•high energy creative self expression
•much enjoyment talking about things
ON THE DOWNSIDE
•every man/woman for herself
•frequent rifts and separations
•lacking emotional connections
•few family traditions
•contests of will
•conflict over pecking order
•eccentric
•someone in the family is forced to be dramatically and
passionately at odds with the rest, who are cool-headed
•if there are any skeletons in the closet they are probably "outed"
and involve someone who went against the law
Checklist for Neptunian families.
ON THE UPSIDE
•close knit
•communicate without talking
•physical closeness and depth of feelings
•protective; no one has to leave the nest
•strong worth ethic; take care of your own
•us against the world
ON THE DOWNSIDE
•codependent
•no one has any privacy
•emotionality runs rampant over logic and practicality
•individual members are never encouraged to "make it on their
own"
•difficulty rising "above your station" in life
•emotional manipulation and control
•dark undertones
•being independent is considered being selfish
•family "secrets" such as abortions, illegitimate children (more
important in former generations), mysterious or early deaths,
fanatical religious beliefs, financial failures or ill-gotten
gain
Did you find out which planet your family comes from?
The important thing is that no matter what your family is like,
it's family! More and more adopted people today are looking up
their birth parents. If this proves impossible, did you know you
can still do it through your astrology chart? An astrologer can
give you a good description of your earliest days here on the
planet. We can even tell you about your prenatal experience of
the womb.
Many astrologers today are specializing in family dynamic
readings. For your reading, you will be asked to provide the
birth dates, places and times, if available, of all members of
your immediate family. This includes, parents and grandparents
on both sides, important aunts and uncles, also children,
grandchildren and important steps.
A family dynamics reading is a fascinating and healing
experience. Today's astrologer is a positive professional,
reading for personal growth and empowerment. Issues are
presented in terms of choice and evolutionary intention. You'll
learn the reasons you incarnated with the people in your family
karmically; whether you have been with them in other lifetimes
and in what relationship, constellated issues and challenges and
areas of potential growth and healing.
Know yourself as never before. Know yourself in the context of
your family. If you would like to learn more, read Erin
Sullivan's book, The Astrology of Family Dynamics" or schedule
an appointment with a professional astrologer who does family
dynamic readings.
About the Author
Nancy R. Fenn is a professional astrologer in the San Diego area
specializing in family dynamic readings. Visit her on the web at
www.theintrovertzcoach.com
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